More Than a Number: Rethinking Screen Time for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Rethinking Screen Time for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Screen time. The term alone can trigger guilt, debate, and an avalanche of opinions from parents, educators, pediatricians, and even strangers on the internet. And for good reason: today’s children are growing up surrounded by screens in a way no previous generation has.

But when we talk about screen time, especially in early childhood, too often the conversation stops at how much. We count minutes and hours like teaspoons of sugar, hoping to stay below the “recommended daily limit.” Yet focusing solely on quantity without considering quality or context oversimplifies the issue and, in some cases, misses the point entirely.

Let’s look beyond the clock and explore a more nuanced, thoughtful approach to screen time for the early years of childhood—one that reflects child development, family realities, and the real opportunities (and pitfalls) of digital media in early childhood.

📺 Scenario A: Screen Time as Part of a Rich, Balanced Day

It’s 5:00 p.m. You’re in the kitchen making dinner, and your child is happily watching an episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood in the living room.

Earlier that day, your family visited a children’s museum. Your child explored the water table, built with magnetic tiles, pretended to be a chef in the dramatic play kitchen, and danced to live music with their sibling. At lunch, they tried something new (falafel with hummus) and later, they spent the afternoon digging in the backyard, discovering bugs and helping water the garden. After a nap and a snack, the house is calm.

Now, the screen time serves as a peaceful bridge between a rich day and family dinner. Their body has moved, their senses have been engaged, and their emotional cup has been filled. The show they’re watching reinforces themes like sharing, talking about feelings, and making friends. Themes aligned with what they’re learning in life.

In this context, screen time is a gentle wind-down, not a crutch.

📱 Scenario B: Screen Time as the Main Event

It’s 5:00 p.m. Your child is in the car seat watching videos on a tablet while you finish errands. Earlier that day, they stayed indoors while you cleaned and caught up on emails. They played mostly on their own—revisiting the same set of toys and snacks—with limited conversation or stimulation. Later, they sat through a long grocery trip and a visit to the pharmacy.

Lunch was fast food in the car, and there wasn’t time for a nap. Now, the screen is serving as a pacifier for mounting boredom and fatigue. The videos autoplay rapidly, jumping from toy unboxings to cartoons with jarring transitions and no clear educational message.

In this context, screen time is not a break from the day—it’s become the day.

🎯 The Takeaway

It’s not just about the hour of screen time—it’s about the hours before and after it.

When screen time follows a day filled with connection, novelty, movement, and joy, it’s less likely to do harm—and may even help children recharge. When screen time fills the void of a low-engagement day, it risks becoming a substitute for the real-world experiences children truly need to grow.

A Deeper Dive …

What Is the Screen Replacing?

One of the most important questions parents can ask isn’t just how long their child is watching a screen, but what is that screen time replacing?

Is it replacing…

• a rich conversation during family dinner?

   

• outdoor playtime and gross motor development?

   

• snuggles and storytelling before bed?

   

• hands-on exploration, imagination, and creation?

   

• rich, memorable, diverse experiences?

   

• opportunities to make meaning in the world?

Or is it replacing a moment when a parent is overwhelmed, stressed, and just needs to make dinner without meltdowns in the background?

In that latter case, screen time might actually enhance the quality of the family dynamic by giving a frazzled caregiver a breather and a child a calm, contained moment with a developmentally appropriate show. The key lies in the intention, content, and timing.

When Screen Time Can Be Helpful

Using screen time strategically can be a relief for both children and adults. For instance:

• While preparing dinner, a high-quality show can give your child a chance to wind down while you focus on a task (bonus: invite them to cook with you for more interaction!).

   

• During long trips in the car or plane, an engaging episode might help avoid the meltdowns that come with sensory overload or boredom.

   

• When a caregiver is sick, exhausted, or overwhelmed, screen time can be a tool of sanity, not shame.
  

Screens, themselves, are not the enemy. They are tools. And like all tools, they can be used wisely or poorly.

Children Thrive on Diverse Experiences

A healthy childhood includes a variety of inputs: movement, rough and tumble play, conversation, observation, music, inventions, science, climbing, and yes—sometimes—media.

When screens are just one part of a diverse daily experience, they can be meaningful tools rather than mindless defaults. Just like a balanced diet, children’s experiences should include a broad array of stimuli that support their developing brains and bodies. If screen time is supplementing—not replacing—those critical developmental moments within a day of diverse experiences, it’s less likely to become harmful.

Why the Where Matters: TV vs. Mobile Devices

It’s not just what children are watching—it’s also where and how they’re watching it.

When screen time happens on a television, it’s often a shared, stationary experience. The TV is usually in a common area of the home, where caregivers can be nearby, hear the content, and engage in conversation about what’s happening on screen. This naturally supports co-viewing, moderation, and healthy boundaries around when and where screens are used.

In contrast, mobile devices—like phones and tablets—are personal, portable, and often used solo. That means children can carry them from room to room, take them in the car, the grocery store, or their bed. What begins as occasional screen time can quickly become ever-present, crowding out opportunities for real-world sensory input, motor development, and face-to-face connection.

Mobile devices are also more likely to create habit-forming behaviors. They are built to grab attention and encourage tapping, swiping, and scrolling—often leading to fragmented engagement with rapid scene changes or autoplay content that doesn’t allow the brain to rest. For young children, whose executive function skills are still developing, this can increase difficulty with focus, transitions, and frustration tolerance.

Choosing TV over mobile devices for screen time is one way to:

• Set clear physical boundaries around screen use (the screen stays in the living room),

   

• Encourage shared, talk-about-it experiences, and

   

• Prevent children from becoming dependent on devices to self-soothe or fill every quiet moment.

Screens should not be ever-present—keeping them in their place (literally) can help everyone stay present.

Not All Shows Are Created Equal

You’d be hard-pressed to find a parent who hasn’t at one point said, “Well, it’s just a cartoon.” But what kind of cartoon matters. A lot.

There is a world of difference between 20 minutes of fast-paced, sarcastic, chaotic content and 2 hours of calm, heartfelt programming designed for young children’s developmental needs.

Take Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. With its slow pace, extended pauses, and emotionally intelligent characters, Mr. Rogers invites children to think, feel, and reflect. It promotes empathy, self-regulation, and problem-solving—all while supporting early literacy and numeracy skills.

Compare that to SpongeBob SquarePants, a show created to amuse adults as much as (if not more than) kids. SpongeBob features rapid scene changes, slapstick violence, and social dynamics that don’t match preschool understanding. Young children may imitate behavior they don’t yet understand—like sarcasm, name-calling, or exclusion—without context or the skills to interpret it.

Disney: Magical, But Sometimes Mismatched

Disney holds a special place in many parents’ hearts. But much of Disney’s storytelling is actually aimed at middle childhood (think 2nd to 5th grade).

These films often include:

• Themes of death and abandonment

   

• Villain-driven plots and high-stakes peril

   

• Fast pacing and complex emotional arcs
  

It’s not that Disney movies are bad—they’re just not made with toddlers and preschoolers in mind. And because we, as parents, sometimes forget what it’s like to be three, we can mistakenly think our nostalgic favorites are “kid-friendly” when they may be overwhelming or even scary to young children in early childhood..

What to Look for in High-Quality Preschool Shows

If you’re selecting a show for your infant, toddler, or preschooler, consider this checklist:

✅ Slow pacing
Look for longer breaks between scene cuts. Quick scene changes overstimulate young brains, hinder the development of focus and self-regulation, and even impact the important skill of deferred gratification.

✅ Simple storylines
Preschoolers thrive on repetition, predictability, and clear cause-and-effect relationships. Complex subplots and sarcasm fly right over their heads emotionally and intellectually, but they certainly will try to mimic the inappropriate behaviors!

✅ Prosocial behavior
Choose shows where characters talk about their feelings, work to understand others’, collaborate, and resolve conflicts.

✅ Character diversity
Shows should respectfully represent different skin colors, genders, abilities, and backgrounds without relying on stereotypes or “token” characters.

✅ Preschool-relevant themes
Avoid media centered around school-aged issues like bullying, romantic crushes, fashion and appearances, or popularity contests. Preschoolers live in the world of parallel play, relational learning, and exploring fairness—not relishing the gossip and hierarchy on the playground, though older preschoolers indulge in a little drama here and there about simpler conflicts.

Our Favorite Screen Time Picks

Here are our top recommendations for developmentally appropriate, thoughtful, and meaningful screen time:

🎥 Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
The gold standard. Slow, warm, reflective, and emotionally rich.

🐯 Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
Inspired by Mr. Rogers, this animated series teaches emotional regulation, routines, and empathy in a preschool-friendly format.

🧸 Doc McStuffins
Empowers children with messages of caregiving, problem-solving, and inclusion—especially wonderful for diverse representation and medical role-play.

📺 Sesame Street
A longtime favorite for combining early literacy, math, and social themes with gentle humor and lovable characters.

🧘 Stillwater
A newer gem that introduces children to mindfulness, emotional awareness, and calm reflection from a neighboring panda.

When Screen Time Should Not Take Center Stage

Some moments are simply too valuable to miss, especially routinely:

• Family meals

   

• Bedtime routine

   

• Gatherings and events

   

• Meaningful learning and play opportunities

   

• Opportunities for real-world exploration and discovery
  

When screens replace these rich, connection-building experiences, that’s when we see problems: delays in communication skills, reduced attention spans, or missed chances to develop empathy and executive function.

So ask: Is this screen time crowding out something irreplaceable?

A Word of Caution: Kids Watching Kids Online

In recent years, a new genre of screen time has quietly crept into the lives of young children—user-generated content, especially on platforms like YouTube and TikTok. These are videos made not by child development experts or educators, but often by other children or teenagers—with varying levels of oversight and intention.

On the surface, it can seem harmless:
A toddler watches another toddler open toys. A preschooler watches a “family vlog” or a sibling duo play dress-up.

But here’s the catch: just because it features children doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for children.

Here’s why it’s worth a closer look:

🚩 Modeling Without Maturity
When kids watch other kids, they often mimic what they see. But the behaviors shown—whether it’s sass, sarcasm, risky stunts, or constant consumerism—aren’t always aligned with the values or developmental goals parents are working toward. The result? Imitation without context.

🧃 Peer-to-Peer Confusion
Children may assume that because another child is doing something (from pranking their sibling to showing off a huge toy haul), it must be acceptable or normal. But these videos are often staged, edited, and produced for clicks—not modeled after real, healthy childhood behavior.

❌ Lack of Quality Control
Unlike professionally produced children’s shows, user-generated content usually skips past developmental screening and educational review. It can be loud, chaotic, overstimulating, and even emotionally aggressive. And because platforms recommend “more like this,” one video can quickly lead to another—sometimes veering into content that’s inappropriate or unsettling.

What Can Parents Do?

✅ Avoid autoplay on YouTube and opt for curated platforms like PBS Kids.

✅ Preview or co-watch any new content, even if it looks harmless at first glance.

✅ Talk about what you see and why your family might choose different behaviors or values than what’s portrayed online.

✅ Favor shows with scripts and structure over “reality-style” videos that lack educational intent.

The internet has made it easy for anyone to broadcast their lives—but that doesn’t mean every broadcast is worth your child’s time.

Stay Close: Why Being Present Matters

One of the most overlooked aspects of screen time isn’t what children are watching—but whether we are nearby while they’re watching it.

When adults are present—physically and emotionally—during screen time, it transforms the experience from passive to interactive. Children benefit not just from the content on the screen, but from our reactions, questions, and reflections.

Here’s why your presence matters:

🧠 Supports Comprehension
Young children often need help interpreting what they see. You can explain confusing moments, clarify emotions, and connect what’s on screen to their real-world experiences.

❤️ Builds Emotional Intelligence
If a character is scared or angry, talk about it. “How do you think she feels?” or “What could he have done instead?” are powerful prompts that build empathy and problem-solving skills.

👀 Catches Subtle Red Flags
Even in kid-friendly shows, there may be messages or moments that don’t align with your family values. Being present allows you to catch and correct those messages in real time.

🗣️ Fosters Connection and Language Development
Pausing to talk about a character’s choices or repeat a silly phrase together helps build vocabulary, critical thinking, and—most importantly—a shared experience.

You don’t have to be glued to the screen alongside them, but being in the same room, listening in, and engaging here and there can make a big difference. Think of yourself as a gentle moderator and conversation partner, ready to help your child absorb and process what they’re seeing.

Because the best screen time isn’t just watched—it’s shared

An Insightful Tool: Common Sense Media

If you’ve ever wondered whether a show or movie is truly appropriate for your child’s age—or just wanted a second opinion—Common Sense Media is a fantastic tool for families navigating the vast world of children’s entertainment.

This nonprofit organization reviews TV shows, movies, games, and apps with a focus on child development and media literacy. Their expert ratings include:

✅ Age Appropriateness
Recommendations grounded in developmental psychology, not just MPAA ratings.

✅ Educational Value
Highlights shows with strong learning potential in literacy, empathy, STEM, and more.

✅ Positive Messages and Role Models
Breaks down how characters handle challenges, express emotions, and model kindness or resilience.

✅ Language, Violence, and Scary Content
Transparent and detailed—even within G-rated media—so you can make an informed decision.

Common Sense Media also includes parent reviews and kid reviews, giving you real-world insights from families like yours. Whether you’re previewing a new show or trying to explain why a certain movie might not be right just yet, this tool empowers parents with clarity and confidence.

When in doubt, check it out. It’s like having a thoughtful friend who’s already watched everything… and taken notes for you.

The Bottom Line: Be Present, Be Picky, Be Practical

Screen time doesn’t need to be an enemy—but it does need to be intentional, and it’s power must be understood. Focus less on the number of minutes, and more on the content, timing, and context. Use media as a tool to enrich—not replace—the most meaningful moments of early childhood.

So next time your child watches TV while you make dinner after a day of learning and play, know this: if you’ve chosen the right show, and you’re doing it thoughtfully, you’re not doing it wrong.

You’re doing it just right.